Offensive Beer Names

I thought it might be illuminating to look through the names of the beers we've had on tap at Hashigo Zake and check whether anyone might be offended by them. This could be an invaluable resource the next time the Dominion Post are looking for a story. By the time I got to the Es I was exhausted.

But to be fair to the Dominion Post, Garage Project do appear in this list an alarming number of times, and this is without getting as far as Golden Brown and Pernicious Weed.

Beer
Brewery
Possibly offended group
AK4.7
Founders
victims of gun violence
Avarice IIPA
666
saints
Bastard Rye
Garage Project
children of rye farmers
Beach Bum
Twisted Hop
beach goers
Beastwars IPA
Hallertau
victims of beast attacks
Black Arrow Pils
Townshend
victims of terrorism
Black Dwarf
8 Wired
black people of small stature
Black Magic IPA
Golden Bear
victims of voodoo
Black Ops IPA
Coronado
victims of counter-terrorism
Black Power
Moa
victims of gangs
Black the RIPA
Renaissance
Victorian era prostitutes
Blackbeard Porter
Golden Bear
victims of piracy
BlitzGreig IPA
Townshend
victims of the Blitz
Bumaye Imperial Stout
8 Wired
George Foreman
Bye Bye Blanket Man
Tuatara
Blanket Man
California Uber Alles
Garage Project
Arnold Schwarzenegger
Cherry Bomb
Garage Project
victims of chemical weapons
Clusterfunk
Funk Estate
prudes
Czar Imperial Stout
Wigram
Bolsheviks
Dasher’s Envy
Moon Dog
Prancer
Day of the Dead
Garage Project
the undead
Dead Good Pilsner
Free House
the living
DeadCanary
ParrotDog
victims of mining disasters
Defibrillator Weizenbock
Doctor’s Orders
victims of heart disease
Dirty Blonde
Cock and Bull
blondes
Emerson's last of the Mohicans
Emerson’s
native Americans
Epic Armageddon
Epic
survivalists
Expat Pom Porter
Twisted Hop
poms

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Lift Your Game, Dominion Post


There’s nothing like seeing someone or something that you know turned into media cannon-fodder, to realise just how seedy journalism can get.

Garage Project’s Death From Above is not for sale anywhere yet and won’t be for a month. And it’s not being advertised anywhere, unless you count the brewery showing the artwork to its subscribers on social media.

That branding and artwork was actually the result of a forced change, after the beer’s intended name turned out to conflict with an existing brand. The intention all along was to make reference to the 34 year old movie Apocalypse Now. The beer in question has some ingredients with Vietnamese connections as well as being packed with American hops. It will no doubt be quite a mouthful. So in craft beer land an allusion to Robert Duvall’s Ride of the Valkyries-playing airborne cavalry is really, really apt.

Now to put things in perspective, Apocalypse Now has for years been the name of more than one bar in Vietnam. (Even more amusingly, Phnom Penh has a bar called “Heart of Darkness”.) The Apocalypse Now in Saigon has a surfboard on display with the slogan “Charlie Don’t Surf”.

But today must have been a slow news day, because someone at the Dominion Post saw fit to make calls to the RSA, a couple of Vietnam-born New Zealanders and a university academic to try and stir up some offence from people who would almost certainly not have heard of Death From Above if the reporter hasn’t called.

I don’t know much about the use of napalm, but it sounds as though it was a complete blunder to associate the airborne cavalry with the dropping of napalm, as the Dominion Post story did. But I guess if you only know Apocalypse Now from sound-bites, it is Duvall’s character who professes affection for the aroma of napalm.

Now as if the actions of Dominion Post, Stuff and Fairfax weren't sleazy enough, try going on Stuff and making a criticism of them for running this nonsense story. Will it get past their moderators? No. Make a really silly, reactionary comment wishing ill-fortune on Jos and Pete and, sure, they’ll publish.

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Lies, Damned Lies etc


Statistics NZ yesterday released statistics showing that the volume of beer available for consumption had fallen dramatically in 2012. This has stirred the interest of Radio New Zealand in particular.

I had a closer look at some of the information given out by my one time employer. The most obvious detail was that the story was different when the market was segmented a little. In other words Stats give out numbers for four sub-categories based on alcohol strength. So there was a 22% fall for beer under 2.5%, falls of around 8% for the two bands between 2.5 and 5%. Then for beer over 5% ABV the volume of beer available rose 62%. That’s right 62%.

Now this has quickly been interpreted at (a) evidence that the popularity of beer is falling and (b) that the rise in stronger beer reflects greater popularity for the category of beer sometimes referred to as “craft”. And the spokesperson for the big breweries has been quick to blame the weather in 2012 for that apparent fall in popularity, even though it’s consistent with a long term trend.

Before any further discussion, it’s important to point out a few details about the process and the results.
  • The statistics are based on declarations made to NZ Customs. So they only reflect supply, not consumption and they exclude any alcohol that isn’t declared to Customs, such as homebrew. These discrepancies are probably insignificant if we assume that supply reflects demand and that home brewing is still a specialist activity.
  • That category of beer with alcohol greater than 5% apparently went from 8.956 million litres in 2011 to 14.468 million litres in 2012 – a 62% increase. But between 2005 and 2009 it fell from 24.510 million litres to 6.967 million litres. I was actually outside New Zealand during these years, but can't take credit for this scale of fall. So something is very fishy with this series. If anyone can explain this please post a comment. (There is a comment in the 2006 results saying “As the Beer Production Survey, which provided data on the volume of beer produced in New Zealand, was discontinued after the September 2006 quarter, information on volumes of beer by packaging type (bottled, canned, bulk) is no longer available.” But in theory this comment is irrelevant to this question of volume of beer over 5%.)
  • Another aspect of the survey is the calculation of what proportion of alcohol consumption comes from different beverage types. To do this they calculate how much actual alcohol has been present in the beer, wine and spirit volumes already tallied. In the case of beer, they multiply the volume of beer in each category by an alcohol percentage. For beer between 4.35% and 5% they multiply the volume by 0.04675, which makes reasonable sense. For beer greater than 5% they multiply the volume by 0.051. Huh? They treat all beer between 5% and 50% alcohol as being 5.1%. It’s only a small anomaly, since the volume of beer greater than 5% ABV is small (but probably growing), but it means that beer’s calculated share of alcohol consumption is under-stated, exaggerating the impression that beer is steadily losing popularity. The pity of this is that the method used is probably unnecessary. These statistics are based on Customs Certificates, which include the volume of beer and the volume of alcohol. (At least the ones Hashigo Zake submits do.)

Anyway, having looked for a few holes in these statistics I’d like to join everyone else in making a sweeping generalisation about the results:

DB and Lion’s sales are in free fall. (Punches air.)

Now we know that New Zealand’s major urban centres are becoming strongholds of brewpubs (Auckland), craft beer bars (Wellington) and breweries (Christchurch and increasingly Wellington). Meanwhile bars that are contractually tied to the big breweries are (anecdotally) counting the days until their contracts run out.
We know that Lion made Emerson’s owners an offer they couldn’t refuse and if the rumours are true DB, Lion and (In)dependent Breweries are racking up air miles looking for more small breweries to buy. And the big breweries are desperately building “faux craft” brands.

But this survey suggests that there will be fresh crisis meetings going on in boardrooms in Auckland. And the measures of the last six months will just be the tip of the iceberg. We can reasonably expect more of the usual:
  • more pressure on bars to stick to the letter of their exclusive supply contracts.
  • bigger incentives for bars to sign new exclusive supply contracts.
  • more use of volume targets with incentives and penalties in exclusive supply contracts.
  • more purchases of leading independent breweries.
  • more faux craft brands.

But what else will they resort to? More alcopop-like beers? More desperate marketing? Dirty tricks? Ultimately I wonder as well if DB’s and Lion’s owners will question the value of their investments and look to off-load them.

I can see one piece of good news for the big breweries. The new licensing laws are expected to impose big costs on bars and (in theory) a greater risk of being denied a liquor licence. I can see fear of the consequences of the new legislation driving more defensive hospitality operators back into the arms of the big breweries.

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The Truth About Faux Craft

Right now “faux craft” is news. Beers fitting that loose definition have been around for a while but seem to have become more apparent as the big brewers respond to the perceived threat of true craft beer. In New Zealand faux craft has been commented on recently in both Fairfax media and the New Zealand Herald. In the US the Brewers Association have gone on the offensive, starting a campaign to expose and shame the practice with some success.

Craft Beer College’s Steph Coutts recently proposed a formal tasting of a range of New Zealand’s “faux craft” beer and this resulted in an event on Saturday January 5th at Hashigo Zake. Invitations went out to some of CBC and Hashigo Zake’s regular associates and a group of 20 enthusiasts, brewers and beer writers sacrificed the pleasures of a sunny Wellington Saturday afternoon to sit together in an underground bar.

Steph and partner Jonny Day acquired stocks from four broad categories of twelve beers that they considered were faux craft. These were served blind (i.e. without being identified), one category at a time. In each of those four categories a fourth beer was added that was undeniably “craft” to act as a kind of benchmark and perhaps to ensure that we tasters took our samples seriously, since one in each flight was almost certainly a beer we respected.

I think I speak for everyone when I say that in general we expected a few preconceptions about the quality of these beers to be confirmed. In other words, we were braced for a fair amount of mediocrity. But we were all also open to the prospect that one or more of these offerings would give us a nice surprise and stand up well alongside one of the elite craft beers – maybe even show it up.

The first round was wheat beers. Samples of “A”, “B”, “C” and “D” were left in our glasses and we set about determining what was good, bad or indifferent and tried to match them to certain named beers. For me (C) stood out as an authentic and flavourful if imperfect German-style weissbier. Another (A) had many of the same characteristics but a lot less flavour and was a bit of a disappointment. (B) had a massive apricot aroma that identified it immediately but then failed to match its aroma with flavour and ended up somewhat insipid. Finally there was (D) which showed none of the aromas and flavours that I would expect a traditional German or Belgian style wheat beer to incorporate as a result of their distinctive yeasts. It was dreadfully bland. (C) comfortably won a show of hands for favourite and was revealed to be Tuatara Hefeweizen. (A) turned out to be Crafty Beggars Wheat As, (B) was Monteiths Apricot Wheat and (D) was Boundary Road Wheat Reaper.

We moved on to pilsners. (A) and (B) struck me as quite reasonable New Zealand Pilsners with plenty of hop aroma and bitterness on show. I speculated that a slight sweet note in (A) might have betrayed a little oxidation. Others judged it more harshly. (C) stood out for lacking the fresh hop characters we all expected from a New Zealand pilsner and tasted more like a plain old golden lager. Finally (D) blew away everything that came before it with fresh, vibrant hop aromas and flavours and a complete absence of flaws. It won the voting by a landslide and was revealed to be Croucher Pilsner. (A) was Boundary Road The Resident Pilsner, (B) was Speights Triple Hop Pilsner and (C) was Crafty Beggars Good as Gold.

On to pale ales and the craft wannabes were given something of a handicap by being put up against Epic Pale Ale. The Epic was immediately recognised by everyone. But I think that even if the craft representative had been something less distinctive the three faux craft pale ales would still have suffered from the same contemptuous judgement. All three really were awful, but in their own ways. Craft Beggars Pale And Interesting was hopelessly bland. Hancocks Grand Pale Ale drew scathing criticism for being faulty (diacetyl) and generally unpleasant. And Monteiths Pacific Pale Ale, whose commercial description made it sound like a hop-bomb, started with a raw, grainy aroma and barely improved from there.

Finally we had a round of “other” beers - a couple of darks and a couple of amber or brown beers. All were easily identified so the blindness of the tasting was somewhat compromised. The “control” beer was Emerson’s Porter, and as expected it was true to style and full of flavour. Boundary Road The Resident Red Rye was for me the best of all the faux craft beers – rich and flavourful thanks to the rye, balanced and bitter. Hancocks Brown Ale drew plenty of criticism and was considered faulty by some. For me its main problem was just a lack of flavour. Finally Monteith’s Barrel Aged Porter got plenty of positive reviews although I thought it reminded me too much of Monteith’s Black to get carried away. And for all the positive comment there was a lot of speculation about how much barrel aging it really had, whether the barrel it was aged in was actually made of wood or whether the beer was left in a barrel or vice versa.

In the end the tasting’s big surprise was the lack of a surprise. Respected craft beers stood out and many of the others were exposed as bland or faulty. Boundary Road’s The Resident beers did quite well, but the awfulness of their Wheat Reaper suggested that without their imported guest brewer (Spike Bukowksi) their capabilities are limited.

Many of us assume that with the resources at their disposal the only thing the big breweries need to make beer as well as genuine craft brewers is the will. This tasting suggested otherwise.

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The Big Boys

The (American) Brewers Association daily email arrived earlier with links to a couple of interesting articles on the role of the brewing giants in the US.

One was written by Brooklyn Brewery's Steve Hindy for CNN(!) on his fear that the US beer market is getting dangerously close to a duopoly. (Annoyingly the embedded video seems to have no relation to the content of the article.) The piece is quite fearful, as if the writer has heard stories about how bad a duopoly can be - stories from, I dunno, New Zealand? Interestingly it's possible that regulators will intervene to stop the 47% market-share holder from swallowing a 6% market-share holder.

The second was an interview with SABMiller executive chairman Graham Mackay on their "if you can't beat them, join them" attitude to craft brewers. At times it's refreshingly candid. He talks about how little bitterness was left in American beer before the arrival of craft beer, and acknowledges that craft is "local, anti-marketing, anti-global, anti-big, and more focused on experience and knowing the brewer who produces it."

He then chucks in the line repeated by many big brewers: "We have our own craft brands." He's just acknowledged that craft brewing is essentially a movement away from everything big breweries represent, but claims to be, or "have" one too. In other words, they're part of the empire but they're also part of the rebellion. Staggering.

Then there's the perfectly fair and reasonable-sounding comment "Let the consumer decide. If we're authentic enough for the consumer, that's authentic enough for anyone." As if transparency is their middle name and their advertising budget is for fun.

Finally comes the most chilling comment of the lot. "Tenth and Blake is a creation of MillerCoors to solve a specific problem, which is that we under-index in the growth segments." Yes buying craft breweries or starting faux-craft operations (which is the role of Tenth and Blake) is their way of correcting an error in their risk profile. That's why companies like Lion Nathan buy breweries like Emerson's - they're like fund managers making sure they've got stocks in all the companies in the benchmark index. Perfect owners.

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The Price of Beer

Following a trip to the US earlier this year, I wrote the following piece as a possible contribution to a publication that never made it to print. So I might as well put it here...


It’s common to grumble about the price of beer. But increasingly travellers returning from certain countries have a little more reason to question what we pay for a good tap beer here. In particular in the US a (US) pint of high quality craft beer typically costs between $3 and $5. Even if the New Zealand dollar were to fall to a more traditional price that still represents a big price difference.

As importers, distributors and retailers of craft beer from a number of countries we’re privy to a little more detail regarding pricing than a lot of people so we’d like to shed a little light on the real costs of the beer coming out of the tap. 

Let’s start with the cost of a keg of beer from a brewery. It seems that US breweries are able to get beer out their door at a lower price than New Zealand or Australian producers. As far as we can tell, the prices below are indicative of what a 50L keg of a 7% IPA might cost in each country, excluding excise tax. 

Table 1. Indicative costs of a 50L keg of a 7% IPA.
A detailed analysis of the relative costs of brewing in each country is beyond the scope of this story. But it is assumed that better infrastructure and denser populations mean that ingredients and, perhaps, labour and other costs, are cheaper to US producers. Also their craft brewing industry is better established with a bigger population of consumers and many of their breweries are working on a much bigger scale. Even the smaller ones probably have less trouble selling their beer than an equivalent in New Zealand or Australia because bars and breweries aren’t allowed to enter into the kind of exclusive supply agreements that are the norm here.

When a keg of beer leaves a New Zealand brewery a second party need to be paid –the government. This is because excise tax is charged the moment alcohol leaves the boundary of a customs controlled area, such as a brewery.

Most of our trading partners have essentially the same arrangement, but varying levels of tax. In New Zealand brewers pay $27.609 per litre of alcohol. Australia has a similar system but a higher rate - $AU31.05 (although the tax is only on alcohol above 1.15% ABV). That’s around 20% more than in New Zealand. But there’s actually worse news for Australian drinkers. That rate only applies for beer packaged in a vessel 48 litres or greater in volume. There aren’t many of those on the supermarket shelf, so drinkers of bottled beer pay $AU44.11 per litre of alcohol. At that rate Australian beer drinkers are paying between 20% and 50% more excise than New Zealand’s, depending on a beer’s ABV.

But drinkers in both countries are being punished in comparison to those in the US. Small brewers there (i.e. brewing less than 234 million litres a year!) pay $US18 per barrel, where a barrel is 117 litres. (There’s an even lower rate for their first 60,000 barrels.) That’s roughly a tenth of what we pay, although the rate isn’t proportionate to the volume of alcohol so it’s impossible to compare directly.

So if a brewery were to sell a 50L keg of a 7% beer, here are the excise charges in the three countries:
Table 2. Excise on 50L of a 7% beer in US, NZ and Aus.
That beer then has to get from the brewery to the bar. We’re going to assume a freight charge of 20 of whatever unit of currency applies in the US, New Zealand or Australia. This is probably done via a distributor who will add a markup of, say, 15%.

Now there’s an important point to make about the distributor’s markup and the excise. The distributor will add a percentage markup and doesn’t care that some of the price that they’re marking up is excise tax. Why should they? A cost is a cost and a party buying and selling the product is risking capital and incurring other costs to do so. So in New Zealand that $96.63 figure mentioned above as the excise on a keg of a 7% IPA is effectively $111.12 by the time it gets to a bar.

The retailer then adds their markup. In New Zealand and Australia it’s accepted practice to mark tap beer up around 200%. This sounds a lot. But that markup is how these businesses pay all their costs, from rent to wages and everything in between. It is expected that a bar spends little more than 30% of their income on stock. We’re going to assume that in a market like the US the markup they apply is slightly lower. For one thing their labour costs will be lower because of the expectation that staff are paid in tips and they also don’t have expenses like ACC levies, kiwisaver contributions and other costs of our slightly less brutal economic system.

So for our model we’re assuming 200% markups in New Zealand and Australia and 150% in the US.
Sales tax is then added. Like the markups mentioned before, this is a percentage increase that doesn’t care what the costs it’s being added to are. So yes, GST is charged on excise tax.

Then customers in the US are expected to tip. This effectively adds a dollar to the price of a glass of beer. 

Here is our full table then. We’ve added a fourth column that represents the costs for a US beer shipped to New Zealand. As you’ll see, it starts cheaper than an equivalent local beer but the cost of bringing it here eliminates that difference and once it’s in the New Zealand system all our local costs take effect.

Table 3. Full Comparison of beer costs.



These are “back of the envelope” calculations but we think they reflect reality. And they offer an explanation of how we come to pay the prices we do.


So what can we learn? Clearly excise makes a big difference, not just because we end up paying nearly a dollar a glass in absolute terms, but because it then gets marked up by every party handling the beer. There is a case for saying that if excise tax wasn’t applied a beer such as the one in our example would be $3-4 cheaper in New Zealand.

In theory excise could be charged at the retail end instead of when beer leaves the brewery. This would come as a relief for brewers and would eliminate some of the extra marking up that goes on in the supply chain. It would mean every New Zealand bar, bottle store and supermarket would suddenly become a tax collector. But then they already are collecting GST, so that isn’t as radical as it sounds. But excise is a more complex tax, and every outlet would have to apply New Zealand’s arcane excise calculations on all the alcoholic beverages on their shelves. And since bars in particular mark drinks up more than any other party in the chain, this change would only produce a small saving in “marked up excise”.

But in the current climate of paranoia about drinking habits a reform of excise laws to give relief to brewers and beer drinkers has no realistic chance of winning political support. And we probably need to accept that our sin-tax regime, while punitive, is not as bad as it could be nor as bad as some of our neighbours.




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Topic du Jour

Yesterday I issued a press release commenting on the sale of Emerson’s brewery to Kirin (Lion Nathan) and answering a question that was already being asked – whether we would continue to sell Emerson’s products.

The answer to that question was simple – we wouldn’t change our policy of excluding the products of the companies that spent most of the 20th century reducing the New Zealand brewing industry to a joke. (That’s Heineken-own DB and Kirin-owned Lion Nathan.)

This was pretty much non-news, but with the shock that the Emerson’s sale has caused, it has been seized upon in the media and generated some pretty bizarre responses in comments sections and social networking. Oddly about the only party that we had a constructive dialogue with yesterday regarding this was Emerson’s brewery itself.

So here is our rationale:

For nearly a century Lion Nathan and DB have employed business strategies that have set back the art and science of brewing in New Zealand and deprived consumers of choice. For example:
  • They ensure that they have access to the New Zealand market in the form of shelf space and taps in bars by giving incentives to outlets. The effects are the exclusion of newcomers (new, small breweries) and the reduction of the New Zealand hospitality industry to a kind of serfdom in the service of the two breweries.
  • They bought up and shut down every rival brewer in the country (except each other).
  • Before the re-emergence of small breweries like Emerson’s they eliminated almost all stylistic diversity in New Zealand brewing.
  • They misuse accepted terms for beer styles for marketing convenience and misuse intellectual property law.
  • They brazenly exploit loyalties of the public to their regions while relocating production for convenience.
Emersons meanwhile have arguably been the most significant single force in the revival of brewing culture in New Zealand. In that time their investors (and this is a guess) must have been asked to fund regular expansions and upgrades to equipment while profits have been modest or non-existent and the staff toil away trying to get access to outlets controlled by the big breweries. While they’ve had as much success as anyone the returns to investors have probably been negligible. Their only hope of a realistic financial return on their investment is to sell the business.

So it makes sense for the owners to sell. And the next time Richard Emerson’s chauffeur drops him off at Hashigo Zake and he descends the stairs in his crocodile shoes and fur coat and orders a plum wine, we’ll welcome him as warmly as ever.

Emerson’s beer will now have the access to market that they’ve been largely denied for twenty years. They will no longer rely on free houses to find customers for their beer. Or to put it another way, they don’t need the likes of Hashigo Zake any more. But fifty or sixty other breweries do.

And as soon as the proceeds of their sales go to a parent whose business practices I disapprove of, we’ll prefer to find other suppliers.

At the Emerson’s brewery production will probably have to expand as they find it much easier to sell beer. Their new owners will probably add millions of dollars of spending to an already eight-figure investment. But Lion Nathan have an obligation to maximise returns to their owners. So while everyone has said that it will be business as usual at the brewery, I don’t see how Lion Nathan’s obligation to make a profit and their track record suggest any outcome except meddling with the beer.

It’s not really that hard to see why we said what we did. But we’ve been accused of snobbery, possibly xenophobia (presumably because I insisted on referring to Lion Nathan as Kirin, to remind people where the profits go), being haters, being hipsters (!wtf?)… who knows what else.

But actually we were just being consistent. Excluding Lion & DB products has worked well for us and our customers and as much as we admire Richard and his company we aren’t about to change.


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